Attack of the Clones! Naruto of the Jedi Order
by puiwaihin
Summary: Naruto in the Star Wars Universe. What would happen if Naruto was the hero of the Star Wars franchise? Well, for starters, the whole thing would be a lot funnier! AU. Crack!fic
1. Ep1: Konoha's Shadow Menace Pt 1

**Disclaimer: **_This is an original work of fanfiction based on characters and stories written by others. No infringement on their rights is intended by this story. Star Wars and the Star Wars Universe are the intellectual property of George Lucas. Naruto Uzumaki, the characters and ninja world seen in story are the intellectual property of Masashi Kishimoto._**  
**

* * *

**Attack of the Clones: A Naruto/Jedi Crossover**

* * *

**Episode 1: Konoha's Shadow Menace**

Obiwan Kenobi looked at the damage to the J-Type 327 Nubian and sighed in resignation. "It looks like we'll need some replacement parts for the hyperdrive if we ever plan on getting to Coruscant. I told you that letting the kid fly the ship was a bad idea, especially after watching him run that 'pod race' and nearly get himself killed."

Qui-Gon Jinn looked at his apprentice appraisingly, observing how the younger Jedi was dealing with the situation. While his duties as a mentor and trainer certainly included passing on techniques in the Force and both armed and unarmed combat styles, the primary duty of a Jedi Master towards his _padawan_ was to pass on the teachings and philosophy of the Jedi Order. Teaching someone to become powerful would be of no value to the Republic if in the end they turned to darkness and sought destruction and vengeance through the Dark Side of the Force and started killing everyone. It wouldn't do for that to happen. Yet again.

"How far is it from here to the nearest spaceport then, Obiwan?" Qui-Gon asked, searching his apprentice for tell-tale signs of exasperation or impatience, which might lead to outright anger.

"Oh, not far. A few lightyears in any direction, master," Obiwan quipped.

Qui-Gon's calm expression darkened momentarily. "What do you mean? Are there no settlements on this planet? I thought you said this planet was inhabited."

"Oh, it is, Master Qui-Gon," his apprentice answered stoically. "The computer database estimates a population in the high hundreds of thousands or low millions based on previous anthropological data."

"Anthropological data?" the Jedi Master echoed. "As in, the kind given on a planet-wide habitat preserve, that kind of anthropological data?" He paused for a moment, pondering the implications. They were on an inhabited world with a human or humanoid population, but left preserved from outside interference by treaty and order of the Galactic Senate. There wouldn't be any place that could service a spaceship anywhere.

"Hey, I can fix it. I can fix anything," little Anakin piped up from behind and started inspecting the hyperdrive. "Let me take a look. Hmm, looks to me like the thermal giga-amputator is leaking oil."

Using the Force, Obiwan pulled the boy away from the hyperdrive by his britches. "First of all, stop making up names for parts to complex machinery, and second, that's not oil. It's a lubricant."

"Good work, Anakin, you've discovered the problem with the hyperdrive." Qui-Gon said, giving the boy a pat on the head while Obiwan rolled his eyes. "My _padawan_ and I will leave the ship and go find a suitable replacement."

"Wait," came a feminine voice. "Why don't we signal for help? Surely someone will come and rescue us!" It was Padmé, the queen of Naboo's chief handmaiden and spokesperson.

"Because, simple handmaiden," the Jedi said condescendingly, "if we set off a signal the Trade Federation ships or perhaps one of the Hutts would locate us and then Queen Amidala would be taken hostage. You wouldn't want that, now would you? Now leave the thinking to us Jedi."

Padmé frowned. "Isn't there some kind of secret frequency that you Jedi have that you can use to contact other Jedi without everyone else finding out about it? Why don't you use that? Just program it into the ship's computer and someone will come rescue us."

"That does sound like a good plan, Master. In fact, we probably should have done that on Tatooine instead of betting our ship on that boy winning a race," Obiwan chimed in.

The Jedi Master considered things for a moment. Then he shook his head. "No, no, we'll stick to my plan. Let's go, my young _padawan_."

"Then I'm coming with you," the handmaiden of the Queen insisted.

"No, you're not," Qui-Gon ordered. "Just stay with the ship. Serve tea, or flirt with the eight year old kid or something."

And with that, the Jedi set off into the forest.

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

"I think I sense a presence, master," Obiwan whispered to his teacher.

"Most likely your imagination, I doubt there's anyone Force-sensitive on this primitive planet."

"If you say so, but—"

A dozen long metal knife-like weapons struck the ground in a circle around them. A pair of figures appeared among the trees, wearing black robes and white ceramic masks.

"You were saying, master?" Obiwan said to his teacher with a touch of reproof.

"Ah, young _padawan_, that was a test, which, sadly, you failed," Qui-Gon replied with a sigh.

"A test? I said—"

"That you sensed a presence up ahead. And yet, did you act on your knowledge? No, you trusted me above your own feelings. You have to learn to trust your own instincts and not follow others blindly, Obiwan."

"I see. So, to teach me a lesson, you have us get captured by natives?"

"A small price to pay for a valuable lesson."

"Well then… thank you, master."

The lead figure drew another one of those knives, a weapon that Obiwan remembered being referred to by his Jedi Academy instructors as a kunai, a weapon used by some clans of warriors or more primitive planets. After pulling the weapon out, the figure spoke something in a language neither he nor Qui-Gon could understand.

"_Anata wa, sono ha no kakusareta mura no chikaku ni wa nani o ryokō shite imasu ka?_"

"Seems they don't speak Basic. Hold on, let me turn on my Universal Translator."

Obiwan turned to his teacher in surprise. "Your what? How can you have a Universal Translator? When did you get that? I've never heard of such a thing!"

"I got it off of a ship from a galaxy far, far away in an alternate future parallel universe. It was created by some kind of United Federation of Planets or some such. Unfortunately, it was all part of a temporal anomaly of some sort and the entire universe ended up being wiped out by a time travel paradox. I accept no responsibility for any of it."

"Wait, then how do you still have the device? How are you even here, and how do you even remember any of what happened? This makes no sense at all!"

"_Deus ex machina_, my young padawan, _deus ex machina_." Qui-Gon Jinn pulled a pair of arrow-shaped metal devices from his robes and handed one to his apprentice. "Here, put this on. A lot less annoying than having to deal with a language barrier or having C-3PO as a translator. Trust me."

Qui-Gon spread his arms out wide in a greeting. "Hail, my cloaked friends. We are simple travelers in your lands looking for hyperdrive lubricant fluid compatible with a J-Type 327 Nubian. Do you happen to know where we can get something like that?"

Obiwan slapped his hand over his forehead. "Master, they don't have spaceships around here, remember?" he said quietly.

At the confused looks from the two figures in front of them, Qui-Gon started making large gestures with his hands and talking in very simple words. "We. Sky-ship people. You. Simple savages. You-Savages, take We-Sky-ship-people go look yucky water. Ok?"

The two figures looked at each other in confusion.

"Have you ever heard of the Hidden Village of the Sky Ship people?" one of the ANBU said to the other.

"Never heard of it. Maybe it's not a ninja village, just a small town full of idiots or something. Probably from over near Cloud?"

"Doesn't matter. They're too close to the village, we had better interrogate…watch out!"

A hail of senbon passed straight though where the ANBU black-ops ninja had just been, as the pair sprang out of the way from the unexpected attack.

"Iwa-nin!" one of the pair shouted as a large group of enemies began attacking.

The ring of steel on steel reached the pair of Jedi's ears as two more of the robed and masked ninja appeared out of seemingly nowhere to join their teammates against an onslaught of around a dozen strange vicious looking ninja with the symbol of two pentagon-like shapes, one larger than the other, on the metal bands on their foreheads. Suddenly a pair of the newly arrived ninja charged towards the Jedi, weapons in hand.

Obiwan and Qui-Gon ignited their lightsabers just as the threatening ninja approached. Kunai met lightsaber, but to the great shock of the onrushing ninja, the Jedi's weapons slid through the metal like a superhot plasma weapon through butter. The momentum of the ninja caused them to continue forward and the pair of Jedi cleanly sliced off the hands of the attackers.

The Iwa ninja screamed like little girls. Well, actually, they screamed more like grown men with their hands cut off, but they still screamed.

Another of the attacking ninja turned towards the two Jedi and put his hands together in a strange sign while yelling out "_Doton: Doryūsō_!"

"Master, I get the feeling that the ground around us is about to explode towards us in the form of a spike."

"Probably just your imagination, Obiwan."

Obiwan Kenobi leapt back away from his position as a spear of solid earth shot out of the ground right where he had been standing. He noticed Qui-Gon had leapt away as well.

"Very good, you're learning," his teacher remarked to him with a nod.

"Thank you, master."

The Jedi watched as one of the masked ninja they had been talking to turned on the ninja that had just attacked them and yelled out, "_Katon: Endan!_" and spat three globs of what appeared to be oil out of his mouth. The balls of oil turned into fire, catching the Iwa ninja and causing him to explode into flames.

"Master Qui-Gon, why aren't the words they are saying while attacking translating, like the rest of their speech?"

"It adds local color, Obiwan. But if you must, we could make them translate alongside the _romaji_."

"Okay, but then why are they yelling out the attack they are about to make? Why tell your opponent ahead of time what you are about to do?"

"You have to learn to let go of yourself, Obiwan. Go with the flow. Now, follow my lead."

The Jedi Master leapt to the ground, his student following behind.

"_Force Push: Throw my opponent 20 feet away to slam into a tree_!" Qui-Gon yelled out as he extended his hands towards one of the attacking enemies. The Iwa ninja was thrown 20 feet away to crash into a tree with a crunch.

Obiwan jumped into the midst of three of the attacking ninja.

"_Ataru Lightsaber Style: Stab my opponent on the left, jump over a slice from a kunai, somersault, over the one in front of me's head and disembowel him_!" he yelled. As soon as he landed, Obiwan stabbed the opponent on his left while the opponent right in front of him was trying to stab him with his kunai. Obiwan immediately somersaulted over the ninja in front of him's head, turned and disemboweled him with his lightsaber. Unfortunately, Obiwan barely had time to register the incoming senbon thrown his way, but fortunately, one of the masked figures knocked those attacks out of the air with carefully thrown shuriken, preventing the Jedi from getting skewered.

Defeating the remaining Iwa intruders was easily accomplished once the Jedi and Leaf ninja had joined forces. In the end, the two Jedi stood together in front of the four black robed ANBU ninja, while the remaining Iwa ninja quickly retreated.

"Impressive fighting," the lead ANBU ninja said. "You have great skill and unusual techniques. But why did your apprentice shout out everything he was going to do before attacking? That third Iwa ninja knew exactly where your student was going to land because he had been told what was going to happen. Pretty foolish thing to do."

Qui-Gon shrugged his shoulders. "I have no clue what he was thinking. Sometimes, I think he just doesn't get it. By the way, do you have any explanation for why enemy ninja suddenly showed up and attacked?"

"No idea. But it was sure lucky they did, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to tell that the two of you were good guys." The other three masked ninja nodded in agreement.

There was a pause as neither group could see a good way to transition from this to something more constructive. "Obiwan, what do you suppose a couple of alien visitors from space would say in a situation like this to speed things along?"

"Take me to your leader?"

"Oh yeah, that's the ticket!"


	2. Ep1: Konoha's Shadow Menace Pt 2

**Episode1: Konoha's Shadow Menace (Part 2)  
**

There was a pause as neither group could see a good way to transition from this to something more constructive. "Obiwan, what do you suppose a couple of alien visitors from space would say in a situation like this to speed things along?"

"Take me to your leader?"

"Oh yeah, that's the ticket!"

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

Obiwan found it surprising that the ninja escorting them suddenly disappeared when they entered the village. Now, there was a new ninja showing them around. A ninja who was wearing a bright orange jumpsuit. A ninja with whisker marks on his face. A ninja with huge, emotion filled blue eyes that made you just want to go over and hug him and listen to his life story.

"Excuse me, Naruto, it's very kind of you to show us around and all, but I'm a bit surprised as to why the ninja we entered the village with just ran off like that. I thought they were going to take us to your village leader," the younger Jedi said.

"Well, I guess it's because I'm sort of the hero of this story. No offense to you, and all. I mean, you're going to be an important part of things. You'll probably even live through this to make it to the sequel. But if you look at the title of the story, do you see the names of any of those ANBU guys? Does it say, 'ANBU: Attack of the Clones?' or something? Nope. It says Naruto. N-A-R-U-T-O. So, obviously I'm going to be the main character. Believe it!"

"You'll have to excuse my apprentice, there, Naruto. He's quite talented, but sort of thick about things like this," Qui-Gon put in.

"No problem! Hey, what are you guys doing in Konoha, anyway? Here to hire a ninja for a special mission or something?"

"Actually," Obiwan responded, "we're on a mission of our own. It started out as a diplomatic meeting, but then things quickly degenerated from there so that now we're stranded here while trying to protect someone important and trying to avoid a mysterious powerful enemy."

"Wow. Sounds a lot like my first C-rank mission."

"Really? What was that like?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. Everyone does a 'Wave Arc' story. That and the Chuunin exams come up over and over again. That's so overdone, don't you think?"

"Sorry?" Obiwan Kenobi asked in confusion.

"Never mind. So, what do you need to see the Hokage for?"

Obiwan explained about how they were on a ship that required special materials to run. "The lubricant is a delicate mix of complex carbon chains in a carefully maintained solution. The difficult part for us will be locating a source of organic material with carbon bonds in the right configuration. You wouldn't have any ideas about where to find something like that would you?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head in consternation. "Uh…are carbon bonds like people bonds?"

"No, I'm afraid not," Obiwan chuckled.

"Then sorry, I can't help you there. But hey, are you guys hungry?"

Qui-Gon and Obiwan both nodded. They hadn't had anything since leaving Tatooine.

"I know the exact place to take you all! Ichiraku's! It's the best!"

Obiwan and Qui-Gon shrugged and followed their guide to the small ramen bar where a kindly looking man greeted Naruto enthusiastically. The blond haired ninja in the bright orange outfit ordered bowls of pork ramen and miso ramen for his guests. When the bowl was put in front of him he started chowing down with gusto.

Obiwan watched as Qui-Gon followed their host's example and began slurping up noodles with his chopsticks. The ninja and the Jedi Master both appeared to enjoy their meal. Obiwan stuck his own chopsticks in the bowl and took a bite.

Immediately, the younger Jedi spit his ramen all over the ground and started gagging.

"Oh holy gods of the Outer Rim, what the hell is this?"

"It's just miso ramen," Naruto replied, his eyebrows narrowing as he looked at the Jedi in shock and distrust. Someone actually didn't like Ichiraku's!

"It tastes like hyperdrive lubricant! What is in this stuff?" Obiwan pulled out a small handheld device and waved it over the food. A second later, there was a distinct beeping sound. "Oh my word, it IS hyperdrive lubricant! Take a look at this, Qui-Gon, these noodles have compatible carbon structures to the fluid we need to replace."

"Mmm. Yes, very good," Qui-Gon said as he continued to stuff himself with the ramen. "Looks like it will work, fine. Mmm. And tasty as well. We'll take a thousand orders of this. To go. Do you take republic credits?"

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

"Hey! Granny-Tsunade!" Naruto loudly announced as he barged into the Hokage's office. "Here are the weird ninja guys the ANBU brought in earlier. The younger one with the spiky hair there doesn't like Ichiraku ramen," the orange-clad ninja said accusingly, throwing a distrustful glare Obiwan Kenobi's way, "but the girl-haired one seems alright."

Qui-Gon and Obiwan walked into a large office. At the back of the room was a desk stacked high with parchment, behind which the back wall was comprised of windows that allowed the entire village to be viewed from the office. Rising from behind the desk was a tall, blond woman with her hair tied back in a pony tail. She had the largest breasts jutting out from her chest that either Jedi had ever seen, at least on a humanoid. They literally jutted out half a meter from her chest within the folds of her robes.

"Welcome to Konoha…" the Fifth Hokage fumbled for a second before realizing nobody had given her the names of her guests. "I'm sorry, but what are your names again? I didn't get it in my report."

Qui-Gon stepped forward. "I am Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master. And this is my apprentice, or _padawan_, Obiwan Kenobi." he said indicating his student behind him.

Obiwan bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Breastkage—Hokage!" The Jedi's face turned a bright crimson.

Tsunade's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"My apologies, Hokage," Qui-Gon said diplomatically, "my student has not yet mastered your language. Perhaps our translation device is faulty…" He shot Obiwan a dark look.

"So," the Hokage began. "What is it we can do for you?"

"First off, we need to get some supplies for our ship," Qui-Gon explained. "We have already made arrangements with a local businessman for our needs. "Secondly, however, we noticed that your ninja have unique abilities in manipulating the Force. We would like to take one of your ninja back with us to the Jedi temple to learn about how you do what you do."

"Impossible," Tsunade said. "Those are village secrets."

Qui-Gon pulled out a blaster. "These are weapons from our home. I'd like to demonstrate, with your permission."

He fired several blasts into a target brought into the room for that purpose. "This weapon can fire ten thousand shots before it will run out of power. We have 12 that we can trade with you."

"Um, Master, I don't think it's actually legal to give weapons technology—"

"Quiet, my young _padawan_. Now is not the time."

"I tell you what. How about we play a game of chance. I win, and we take the weapons of yours for free. I lose, and you get Naruto here as payment. Deal?"

Qui-Gon smiled. "Deal."

One chance cube, 3 bottles of sake, and an hour later, Naruto was signed up to join the Jedi.

"What? You can't do this, Granny-Tsunade! I refuse!" Naruto complained loudly.

"So, how well trained is Naruto?" Qui-Gon Jinn asked, completely ignoring the boy's protests.

"Well, he just got back from training with toad sages and saved our village from Pein. But, he hasn't merged with the Nine-Tailed Demon fox he carries."

"Right. And this Sasuke guy you say he's obsessed about?"

"Totally evil now. Wants to destroy our village if he can."

"How about elemental techniques? We're definitely interested in learning how you use your 'chakra' to create elemental effects. Can Naruto show us about that?"

"Did you hear me?" Naruto shouted. "I'm not going!"

"Funny you should mention that," Tsunade replied. "Just before you all arrived, Naruto's old teacher, Kakashi, gave him a scroll with 3 elemental _ninjutsu_ techniques from each of the 5 element types. He was able to master them all. So, that should serve your purposes quite conveniently."

"Excellent. We'll deliver the blasters to you right away."

"I said," Naruto growled forcefully, "I. Am. Not. Going! How can I be Hokage if I go to another planet?"

Tsunade looked at Naruto as if disappointed. "Naruto, this is for the good of the village."

"No way! Get someone else!"

"I'm sorry, Master Qui-Gon. I don't know what to say. I will find a replacement ninja for you to take with you," Tsunade said with a sigh. "We'll have all the ramen in the village delivered to you immediately. You just need to add water. If you need more, we'll have more next year. Until then, there won't be any ramen in Konoha."

"Next YEAR!" Naruto screamed. "Forget that! I'm going with the Jedi!"


	3. Ep1: Konoha's Shadow Menace Pt 3

**Episode 1: Konoha's Shadow Menace (Part 3)**

"I said," Naruto growled forcefully, "I. Am. Not. Going! How can I be Hokage if I go to another planet?"

Tsunade looked at Naruto as if disappointed. "Naruto, this is for the good of the village."

"No way! Get someone else!"

"I'm sorry, Master Qui-Gon. I don't know what to say. I will find a replacement ninja for you to take with you," Tsunade said with a sigh. "We'll have all the ramen in the village delivered to you immediately. You just need to add water. If you need more, we'll have more next year. Until then, there won't be any ramen in Konoha."

"Next YEAR!" Naruto screamed. "Forget that! I'm going with the Jedi!"

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

Obiwan Kenobi stood behind a forcefield that prevented him from joining his master, who was even then engaged with a deadly Sith opponent. Obiwan was just a little nervous about how things were going. First, they had left that unpredictable orange-clad ninja behind on the ship. Alone. Second, they had left the little eight year speed junkie in a fighter craft hangar. Sitting inside a space fighter. Completely unsupervised. (Except for a droid which might even be crazier than little Anakin). And then they had run off to battle a scary, scary looking Sith lord wielding a dual-bladed lightsaber while leaving the Queen of Naboo, who it turned out had actually been the handmaiden Qui-Gon had been talking down to the whole trip, to fend for herself with just a handful of poorly trained volunteer security guards.

The fact that the fight between his master and the Sith assailant wasn't going well wasn't even in the top five of Obiwan's current worries, but it was still nailbiting.

Especially since Qui-Gon was not attacking with his normal skill and grace. The Jedi Master was jumping in almost recklessly, striking at the opponent without any sort of obvious strategy. It was as if his master had abandoned the finder points of the Ataru style and was making up a new form as he went. The attacks were unpredictable, and Qui-Gon was moving rather well, but Obiwan feared that the confined space they were fighting in and Qui-Gon's tactics would get him killed.

And then the moment Obiwan had feared came. A clever kick from the devil-faced assailant, a Zabrak, staggered his master and then the evil Sith stabbed his lightsaber right into Qui-Gon's chest.

"NO!" Obiwan screamed in denial.

Until he saw his master's form disappear into a puff of smoke.

The Sith was just as shocked as Obiwan was.

"Hehe," a sheepish voice called out. "I guess I have a lot to learn about _kenjutsu_." And then another Qui-Gon leaped out of the shadows. Only to disappear in a flash of smoke and be replaced by a shorter, blond haired boy wearing bright orange.

"Naruto?" Obiwan asked in shock. "But…then where's Master Qui-Gon?"

"Oh, yeah, hehe," Naruto said rubbing the back of his head. "I wanted to see his light sword thingie and he wouldn't let me. So…I sorta knocked him out, tied him up, and then pretended to be him."

Naruto didn't have time to be berated by Obiwan, because the Sith immediately began attacking. This time, however, Naruto stayed out of range of the more skilled swordsman. Naruto leapt around the room, using chakra to stick to the walls while he hurled kunai from various strategic points. But the Sith was able to block each of them.

"It's like he knows what I'm going to do before I even do it! What does he have _sharingan_ like Kakashi and Saskuke?" grumbled the ninja.

"He does know what you're going to do before you do it!" Obiwan explained from behind the forcefield. "That's how the Force works."

The Sith, for his part, was getting frustrated by his opponent, who was extremely fast and kept throwing shuriken and kunai at him. He'd had enough. Time to use his mastery of the Dark Side of the Force to end this. As Naruto landed at another spot on the wall, the horned creature raised his hand and suddenly pulled the orange clad ninja towards him.

Naruto rocketed through the air, propelled against his will towards the Sith. The red lightsaber flashed through the air and cut Naruto in half. Obiwan looked on in shocked horror, completely forgetting what had just happened moments before when a similar thing had happened.

_POOF!_

The Sith Lord stared in shock as the boy he had cut in half became a severed log. A log! In the middle of a technologically advanced royal palace! In a room surrounded by force fields on all sides! And then the end of a lightsaber burst through the front of his own chest, held by the boy who he had just thought to have struck down. The Sith fell over, dead.

The forcefield blocking Obiwan dropped and he entered to find a grinning Naruto standing triumphantly over his opponent. The lad had felled a most dangerous fighter, and without any training in lightsaber use. It was, he had to admit, impressive.

"And all I had to use were the Academy basics," Naruto proclaimed proudly. "Well, and my shadow clone technique, but that doesn't really count since I was using that to trick to fool you more than it was to trick him."

Obiwan shook his head to himself. How did Master Qui-Gon get himself saddled with the craziest characters? Obiwan Kenobi exhaled a sigh, grateful that it was his master, not him who would need to deal with all of this.

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

Back on the capital planet of the Galactic Empire, Coruscant, the contingent from Naboo was honored in a ceremony held outside the Jedi Temple. Oddly enough Queen Padmé Amidala did not speak to Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Of course, since he had been tied up in his own ship and hadn't actually done anything to help, it wasn't too surprising.

"Well, it seems that two young boys have done what the entire Republic Senate and Jedi Council could not!" Senator Palpatine said with a kindly smile on his face as he regarded Anakin Skywalker and Naruto Uzumaki. "You have safeguarded Naboo's queen, defeated the Trade Federation blockade, and defeated a Sith. We look forward to watching both of your young careers with _great_ interest."

Naruto beamed up at the man, basking in the praise, while Anakin gave the man a smile.

"Master Qui-Gon, can you tell me, exactly how was Darth Maul defeated by young Naruto?" the senator asked, turning to the Jedi Master.

"Oh, was that the Zabrak's name? I don't think anyone here knew that," Obiwan commented with a quirked eyebrow.

"Oh, um, yes…well, I…need to be going…" the senator mumbled and hurried away suddenly, not waiting for a reply from Qui-Gon.

"What was that all about?" Qui-Gon murmured. "Well, anyway, no time to dawdle here. Anakin and Naruto have to appear before the Jedi Council."

"Didn't they already rule _against_ Anakin being trained as a Jedi?" Obiwan questioned.

"That was before he blew up the Trade Federation base ship and saved Naboo."

"Oh, of course. Causing massive destruction is an excellent reason for the Jedi Council to change their minds."

"Precisely," Qui-Gon Jinn concluded.

Twenty minutes later, Yoda appeared outside the council chambers and proved Qui-Gon right.

"Master Qui-Gon, your apprentice Anakin will be."

"Yosh!" Anakin yelled, pumping his fist.

"Like how the loud ninja is rubbing off on him, I do not," the diminutive Jedi grumbled. "Naruto's turn it is to sit before the council."

"Oh, this can't be good," Obiwan muttered under his breath. But there was no chance Naruto would be accepted as a Jedi. He was already much too old. Nearly sixteen years old already. And trained as a ninja. Not at all suitable.

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

Naruto entered the Jedi Council chambers.

"Mmm…want do be a Jedi, do you?" Yoda asked.

Naruto smiled. "Yeah! I'll be the best Jedi ever! Believe it, Old Jedi Toad Geezer!"

"Old Jedi Toad Geezer?" Master Windu asked inquiringly. "Are you referring to venerable Master Jedi Yoda?"

"Uh huh. Who else would it be?" Naruto asked. "Maybe the blue smurf Jedi lady, but she's not short and wrinkly like Old Jedi Toad Geezer."

Yoda's eyes bulged out. "Hmph. No, not suitable at all are you. Much fear I sense…yes, much fear, and much pain. And deep anger inside you. No, a Jedi you cannot be."

"NANI?" Naruto exclaimed jumping off the seat where he had been told not to move from. "I am going to be a Jedi Master! And then go back to my village and be the best Hokage ever. Believe it! No matter what you say, I'm going to do it!"

Yoda shook his head. "A good heart you have, and determination. A pity it is that there is so much darkness inside of you."

"Oh, yeah, that," Naruto said with a shrug. "That's just the demon fox. But don't worry about that! I've got it all under control!" Naruto said confidently, pointing his thumb at his own chest.

"Demon fox?" asked Master Windu.

"Oh, yeah. My father, the Fourth Hokage, sealed the _Kyuubi_ into me when I was a baby, to keep it from destroying the village. But I can keep it from coming out, no problem!"

"So, the darkness inside you, it is not _you_ that we are sensing?" Master Ki-Adi-Mundi asked for clarification. "It is another being? A darkness that you hold at bay with your will?"

"Nope, none of that darkness is me. That's all the fox's chakra."

"Perhaps we should consider a special training program for this boy, to learn about these 'elemental' manipulations of the Force Master Qui-Gon spoke of," Mace Windu suggested. "If he learns to control the Force as we do, perhaps then he can teach us how to transform it into elemental manipulations. And such training may help him deal with this…fox demon…that he has inside of him."

"No," Yoda refused forcefully. "Not suitable at all is he. Too headstrong. Too much darkness. Too much calling 'Toad Geezer' of Jedi Masters."

Naruto crouched down, his eyes narrowing in determination. "Alright, I didn't want to have to do this, but you geezers left me no choice. I'll use my ultimate technique to make you all change your minds."

The Jedi Masters all looked at Naruto with growing concern.

Naruto made the sign of the ram. A cloud of smoke surrounded Naruto. "SEXY TECHNIQUE!"

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

Obiwan, Qui-Gon Jinn and Anakin Skywalker watched as Yoda walked out of the Jedi Council with a grinning Naruto. Oddly enough, it looked as if there was blood coming from the aged Jedi Master's nose.

"Obiwan, the trials you are to take. Naruto Uzumaki your _padawan_ is to be."

Obiwan Kenobi punched himself hard in the face.


	4. EP2: Attack of the Shadow Clones! Pt1

**Episode II: Attack of the Shadow Clones!  
**

It was a lovely day on Coruscant. The moons were shining down on the glimmering, shining mash of polyglass and metal alloys that made up the towering buildings rising up from the surface. Speeders and transports zoomed high and low in cross-crossing streams of traffic high above the metropolitan sprawl that covered every inch of the world's surface. The sounds of droids could be heard whirring and beeping all along the busy streets. And on a landing platform near the top of one of the taller high-rise spires, the pleasant sound of a Senatorial spacecraft blowing up could be heard, providing the plot hook for this chapter.

"Oh no! Tumée!" screamed the grief stricken voice of Senator Padmé Amidala. The former queen of the Naboo people ran over to cradle the burnt body of her decoy in her arms.

"I'm sorry…milady…I've failed you," the look-a-like croaked out with her last breaths.

"No, no, I think it worked just as the senator planned. You died, she lived," the captain of her security forces said matter-of-factly.

Padmé looked at her security chief aghast.

"I mean," her body double gasped out, "I won't…be able to play as you, as a former queen, at…the Silverstein birthday party…" and with those final words, the loyal bodyguard breathed her last.

"And that was our last replacement decoy," Captain Typho noted with a curse. "Well, senator, it looks like it's up to me to protect you from now until the senatorial vote on the issue of forming the Army of the Republic."

"Her sacrifice will not be in vain," Padmé promised solemnly. "Don't worry, Captain. I doubt I will need another decoy. We'll be able to make it to the Jedi Council from here quickly, and hopefully they will be able to provide me with some protection."

Typho sighed in relief, quickly storing away the wig and dress he had started to put on. "That's good news, Senator. I didn't relish the thought of wearing your dress. No offense."

"Oh, you're not off the hook yet, Captain. If I can't find a double for the Silverstein birthday party you're going to need that wig," Padmé said with a smirk.

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

"I don't want to be hidden away while the vote is being cast, Master Samuel L.—I mean Master Windu," the senator said in a bit of a low, monotone voice she somehow thought was commanding, or mature, or something. "Perhaps if you could lend us some available Jedi to serve as my protectors until after the vote in the Senate? Maybe someone I know, like Master Qui-Gon, Master Obi-Wan, or that Naruto…?"

Samuel L.—I mean Master Windu (darn it, now I'm doing it too!) rubbed his chin in thought. "That's possible. They're all just arriving back here just now, just as if this were part of some kind of scripted plot."

There was a sudden explosion of smoke, the room completely obscured, before the cloud of choking fumes slowly disappeared and there stood Naruto, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his Konoha head protector in place, and with…a bright orange Jedi-style robe around his body.

"NARUTO!" yelled an irate Obi-Wan Kenobi, "How many times have I told you NOT to throw smoke bombs inside the Jedi Temple!"

"Seventeen," Naruto replied immediately. "Should I make that eighteen?"

Obi-Wan Kenobi slapped his hand over his face. "Yes, Naruto. Make that eighteen. Do not throw smoke bombs in the Jedi temple."

"Master Kenobi," Mace Windu queried in a tone that was at once both amused and reproachful, "is that _**anger**_ I am feeling from you directed towards your _padawan_ learner?"

With a sigh, Obi-Wan Kenobi calmed himself. "No Master Windu, it is not anger. It's just frustration. Lots and lots of frustration." He looked over at his young Jedi-in-training with a resigned look. Why he had been forced to take Naruto as his apprentice he didn't know, but it was an unending source of misery for him.

Seeing his young trainee grinning at him, the Jedi master had to smile in return despite himself. One thing he didn't have to worry about was Naruto turning to the Dark Side. He'd never seen anyone remain so cheerful for such a long period of time. His student could be serious when the situation called for it, but if there wasn't death and destruction flying around, his enthusiasm was irrepressible.

"Well then, that settles it. The two of you will be assigned to the senator's protection. There's an assassin out trying to kill her." And with that, Mace Windu left.

"Oh, hi there Padmé-_chan_!" Naruto exclaimed. "Wow, you look like you haven't aged a day since the previous chapter!"

"Really? You think so?" Padmé exclaimed happily brushing back her hair from the sides of her face. "I think I have to credit the makeup artists and stylists for that." She looked Naruto up and down. "And you haven't changed a bit, either! Except for trading in your orange ninja suit for an orange Jedi robe, and the lightsaber at your waist, you look just the same. You look really good."

"Yeah, I look totally badass now. But I guess Obi-Wan Sesnsei is scared of the hair stylists or something because his hair has really grown out since then," Naruto said, indicating the drastic change in his Jedi mentor's hairstyle.

"Stylists?" Obi-Wan asked.

Naruto shook his head. "Yeah, he's still totally clueless."

Suddenly, the room was filled with a powerful angsty feeling as two figures entered the room on cue. "Ah, my old apprentice and his ramen-loving _padawan_!" Qui-Gon Jinn exclaimed. "So good to see you two."

"Padmé," Anakin said breathlessly. "You are as beautiful as the day I asked you if you were an Angel like the pilots from the Outer-rim told me about, because it wouldn't have made sense if I had made a reference to those of the Judeo-Christian tradition, that being far-far away in the future of another galaxy."

"You look well, Anakin," Padmé replied. She found herself oddly drawn to his angst. If it were not for the fact that he wasn't a glittering vegetarian vampire she would have wanted to jump him immediately. As it was, she was having a difficult time deciding if she were more attracted to the hero of the story, Naruto, or the teenage drama queen who just last chapter had been an eight year old boy.

Then Anakin saw Naruto and immediately went livid before turning back towards his master. "What the hell, Master Qui-Gon?!"

Not seeing the problem, the Jedi master quirked his eyebrows inquisitively.

"Just look at Naruto! Not only does he not have to age a single day throughout this entire story, he gets to keep his awesome spikey-yellow hair!" He held up the braided queue he was forced to wear and pointed to his short-cropped military style haircut. "And I have to keep my hair cut like this!"

"Well, that style is tradition for _padawan_ learners, you know," Qui-Gon drawled out, looking for an explanation. "And Naruto is…well…special."

"Aren't I supposed to be the Chosen One™? The Child of Prophesy™ who will bring back Balance™ to the Force™?"

"Yes, of course you are. Although, considering that there are just one or two Sith and a few thousand Jedi, that the Dark Side forces are in hiding and we're openly out in control of the galaxy, it does sort of make that prophesy about 'rebalancing' things a bit dubious…" Qui-Gon frowned momentarily before continuing. "But the important point here is that Naruto is the _**Title Character**_ and it's Naruto coming to our world not us joining the ninja of Konoha, so we aren't the focus. So, of course he gets all the special concessions."

Anakin pouted. "It's not fair."

"I know, I know my young _padawan_. But cheer up. You're still an important character in the plot, and there's a really good chance you aren't going to end up turning into a psychopath and killing everyone."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Well," Qui-Gon waved, "see you guys in a few pages," and walked off with his student in tow.

Obi-Wan just stared after his former master. "Did any of you understand any of that?"

Naruto and Padmé just rolled their eyes.

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

The senatorial room reserved for Senator Amidala was in a secure location high above the city. Outside the apartment, Captain Typho and his men patrolled the grounds, fairly certain there was no way that they could possibly be effective against any attack that would actually take place. They were just hoping to not be caught looking like incompetent idiots and were praying that any attack would be coming from some other direction other than directly through them.

Directly in front of the door, Obi-Wan Kenobi meditated. Of course, he as a main character, stood a pretty good chance of putting up a heroic fight and probably even succeeding in his job. Unless of course the attack completely bypassed him.

Inside the darkness of the bedroom, the lithe and curvaceous form of Padmé Amidala stretched and turned underneath her covers, from time to time letting out a low moan to punctuate just how feminine and vulnerable she was.

It was a perfect setup for the assassin. The dark figure of the killer remained outside of the perimeter, but sent a pair of _kouhuns_, poisonous shadow centipede-like creatures which could evade the electronic monitoring systems in place, in through holes cut into the outer window. The creatures crawled quickly and silently to the sleeping form of the senator, crawling under the covers, creeping ever closer to their target. Until…they struck.

**POOF!**

They had destroyed a transformed clone, which had been making full use of the infamous Sexy Technique. In less than a second, Naruto had ignited his lightsaber and sliced the pair of deadly creatures in half. He saw the shadowed assassin outside the window and smashed through it without hesitation in pursuit, just as they took off in a speeder.

Obi-Wan, alerted by the sound of destruction burst into the room just in time to see Naruto leap through the window. The Jedi Master looked outside to where he could see his ninja apprentice leaping from transport to transport, off buildings and structures, keeping up with the speeding assassin.

"I hate it when he does that," Obi-Wan sighed.

Naruto's furious pursuit forced the assassin to descend to street level and ditch the transport. Hoping to get lost in the crowd, the assassin sped away from the orange-robed maniac.

Just as Naruto was about to rush into a bar where the assassin had just entered, Obi-Wan managed to catch up in a speeder of his own.

"What did I tell you about rushing into things, Naruto? We go together as a team."

"Sorry, Ramen-hater-sensei," Naruto responded without a hint of remorse in his voice.

"You are to call me Master Obi-Wan, Naruto. You know that."

"Hey, 'sensei' means the same thing in my language. And I can handle this, no problem." Naruto groused.

"We walk in there together. You will search, and I will discover our assailant using the Force." Obi-Wan insisted. His apprentice complained, but ultimately complied.

Naruto shrugged and then the pair walked into the bar where Naruto had tracked the assassin.

"Hey, kid, wanna buy some Death Sticks?"

"Oh, cool, Death Sticks! What are they?"

"Naruto, you do not want to buy any Death Sticks," Obi-Wan insisted with a sigh and a wave of his hands.

"Uh, I don't want to buy any Death Sticks."

Obi-Wan turned to the dealer. "And you, you don't want to sell him Death Sticks."

"I don't want to sell him Death Sticks."

"You want to go home and rethink your life."

Obi-Wan turned back to see Naruto grinning as the dealer repeated Obi-Wan's suggestion and walked out.

"Cool Jedi _genjutsu_, Obi-Wan Sensei! Hehe, weak-minded idiot."

"Yes, a weak-minded idiot," Obi-Wan repeated with a sigh.

After a moment of thought, Naruto turned back to his Jedi Master. "HEY! You didn't use that on me did you? You know I suck at _genjutsu_!"

"It's called _Force Persuasion_, Naruto. And I'm deeply hurt that you think I would use something like that on you."

Catching on that Obi-Wan hadn't outright denied the accusation, Naruto pointed an accusing finger at his teacher. "You **did** just use that Force _genjutsu_ on me! You—You—You Jerk!"

"Just forget about it and go look for the assassin," Obi-Wan said waving Naruto away.

"I'm going to just forget about it and go look for the assassin," Naruto said and started to walk away before turning back around with an accusing, "HEY!"

When Naruto finally left and started searching, Obi-Wan saddled up to the bar and ordered a drink, stretching out his feelings to search for the assassin. Where he was positioned, he would be able to find the personthey tried to leave by the front door.

The minutes slowly slipped by and Obi-Wan at last felt the deadly agent approaching. Whoever it was, he could sense an unusual connection to the Force. It probably accounted for the assassin's success. Of course, Jedi also had a powerful connection to the Force, and the knowledge to use it. So, Obi-Wan wasn't worried. He was about to make his move. The assassin was just a few steps away when, suddenly, Obi-Wan Kenobi started to get an alarming premonition.

"You are in range of my divination," the voice said from behind a mask.

'_Oh crap_,' Obi-Wan thought to himself as he sensed what was about to happen. '_This is going to hurt_.'

The Jedi's attempt to draw his lightsaber was disrupted when his hands went numb and his weapon clattered to the ground as he was struck with two lightning fast attacks. Then he was hit with four strikes. Obi-Wan was immobilized as the gloved hands of the assassin struck vital points on his chest and torso. A rapid series of attacks followed at an ever-increasing rate. He felt his entire body go numb as he was knocked into the air by the incredibly quick blows that were too fast for him to react too, even though he could feel them coming through the Force.

The Jedi found himself being blasted through the front door by nearly three dozen strikes in the space of a single second. He landed with a thud and a groan. Obi-Wan tried to get up but he was completely unable to move. Even attempting to use the Force to help him recover outright failed. She was going to get away.

"Hey! No attacking my sensei!" came the welcome voice of his apprentice.

The orange-robed ninja/Jedi caught the assassin so much by surprise that Obi-Wan could tell that they froze in shock the instant before his apprentice attacked. With incredible speed, Naruto knocked the assassin's feet out from under them, knocked them to the ground and straddled on top of them, his forearm pressed firmly into their collarbone. Obi-Wan heard them squeal just as they were struck, and the sound of it shocked the Jedi. The assassin knew his apprentice's name.

"_N-Naruto-kun!"_

Naruto pulled the mask off the assassin and gasped. "_**HINATA-CHAN?!**_"

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Thanks for reading this story. FYI, I will update this story one episode at a time.

* * *

One reviewer commented that they thought the humor went too far in this story. This story is a Crack!fic, meaning it _will_ be over-the-top. I am not trying to emulate the humor style of Naruto. It will be different. If you want something where I try to match up the tone of humor to the original, take a look at my Naruto/Tenchi Muyo crossover.


	5. EP2: Attack of the Shadow Clones! Pt2

**Episode II: Attack of the Shadow Clones! (Part 2)**

"Hey! No attacking my sensei!" came the welcome voice of his apprentice.

The orange-robed ninja/Jedi caught the assassin so much by surprise that Obi-Wan could tell that they froze in shock the instant before his apprentice attacked. With incredible speed, Naruto knocked the assassin's feet out from under them, knocked them to the ground and straddled on top of them, his forearm pressed firmly into their collarbone. Obi-Wan heard them squeal just as they were struck, and the sound of it shocked the Jedi. The assassin knew his apprentice's name.

"N-Naruto-kun!"

Naruto pulled the mask off the assassin and gasped. "HINATA-CHAN?!

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

"Hinata-_chan_, what are you doing here? And why were you trying to kill Senator Amidala?" Naruto asked in confusion.

For her part, Hinata was in a complete daze, her eyes glazed over and a euphoric smile on her lips. Her face was flushed a bright red, and her brain was locked in a loop, her mouth only able to form the syllables "Na-Na-Naru...Na-Na-Naru..."

"Um, Naruto," Obi-Wan interrupted. When Naruto looked up at him, Obi-Wan gestured to the girl Naruto was straddling, one arm against her throat, as he had just tackled her to prevent her from attacking his Jedi master, but the other rested on a particularly inappropriate part of her body. "You might want to get off from on top of her like that. And I would suggest placing your hand in a less…intimate spot."

As soon as the blond-haired Jedi-ninja-_jinchuriki_ realized the position he was in, he quickly jumped off of Hinata and blushed furiously himself. "Oh, eh, hehe, sorry about that, Hinata."

The dazed, euphoric look did not leave Hinata's face, but her brain did finally unfreeze. "N-Naruto-_kun_ was lying on top of me," she said as she rose to her feet staring off into nothing, finally able to express what had been going through her mind.

"I think you broke her, my young _padawan_," Obi-Wan remarked, only half-jokingly.

"Um, hey, Hinata-_chan_," Naruto began again, and the pale-eyed Hyuuga slowly turned to face him, recognition and cognizance slowly returning to her expression. Naruto, seeing her return to her senses, resumed his questions. "Not that it's not good to see you, Hinata-_chan_, but, why are you here and why were you trying to kill Padmé? Did someone pay the village for an assassination mission out here or something?" Thoughts of how complicated that would make things passed through Naruto's mind.

At this, Hinata blushed furiously and lowered her gaze to the ground. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to attack you earlier, Naruto-kun. If I had known it was your clone in that bed I would never have tried to hurt you."

"Oh, that's alright Hinata, it was just a clone," he said, waving that away as if it were nothing. "And at least now I know what it would feel like to be bitten by a _kouhun_ and die. That's now 12,764 different ways to die that I remember now as if it actually happened to me," he said somewhat proudly, "But why are you here? Did the village send you?"

"Um, no," Hinata said, nervously tapping her index fingers together nervously as she continued to look down. "I…came here on my own…to follow you."

Naruto scratched his head. "Uh, okay. Why would you want to do that? Doesn't that make you a missing ninja?" Hinata tried to answer, but was unable to move her mouth properly as she thought of the feelings that led her to follow her crush. "And why did you try to kill Padmé?" Naruto asked again.

"Wait, first of all, how did someone from your village get all the way out here in the first place? There aren't any space ships on your planet," Obi-Wan asked.

"Oh, that's easy, Obi-Wan Sensei," Naruto said nonchalantly, "she's a ninja."

"Well that doesn't tell me anything," Obi-Wan responded with a bit of a scowl. "You mean you were able to follow us, through space, and even hyperspace, without us knowing? Because you're a ninja?"

Hinata nodded. "Yes, and I've been following you since you left Konoha." Hinata turned to regard her favorite person in the entire world. Make that, favorite person in the entire galaxy, now that she was out here. "I-I couldn't stand to see you leave, Naruto-kun. So, I followed you."

"So _how long_ have you been following us?" Obi-Wan asked, clearly disturbed.

"Oh," Hinata said with a blush, "this whole time." Then slightly under her breath, "_And I've been sort of stalking Naruto s__ince I was like four._"

"What?! How?" the Jedi Master asked incredulously.

"Ninja." Hinata and Naruto answered in unison.

"When the original subcontracted assassin tried to kill the senator at the landing platform but failed and the two of you were assigned to protect her, I offered to finish the job," Hinata said, ducking her head.

That didn't make sense to Obi-Wan. "But if you were following us all the time, then how could you have been able to go out at the same time and get hired to—"

"Ninja," Hinata responded instantly.

"But, why, Hinata? Why would you do that?" Naruto was perplexed.

Hinata looked down at her feet. "Remember back when Pein came?" Naruto shook his head, a blank look on his face. "And destroyed the village?" Again a shake, couldn't quite place the incident. "And had you were stabbed with those black rods? Laying there, bleeding and about to be captured?"

"Still not ringing any bells…"

"And you looked so handsome and awesome with your new sage mode?"

"Oh, I kinda remember that" Naruto said with a grin.

"And I came and protected you. And I said…"

"Oh, right!" Naruto said, suddenly very apologetic. "I've been meaning to give you a call…"

"For 2 years?" Hinata asked skeptically. "I confess to you that I love you, me, shy little Hinata, and then you don't even come say 'Hi' to me?" Hinata's voice suddenly started rising angrily. "I mean, you totally flipped out and turned into a giant fox demon that could have wrecked the entire village and killed everyone because you thought I died! Over me! That gives a girl some kind of expectation, you know? And then…nothing!"

"Um, sorry?"

"Wait, Naruto transformed into a giant fox **demon**?" Obi-Wan asked in surprise. "When was someone going to tell me about this?" He was ignored.

Hinata was not done, her face suddenly contorting into a mask of pure jealously and voice becoming a growl. "And then I see **you** getting _friendly_ with **Miss Naboo**, who has the habit of coming onto younger men…I mean, I **saw** how she was flirting with that little Anakin kid…so…well," the face of fury that suddenly was on her face instantly morphed into a spooky smile and her voice returned to its normal placidity, "I thought it would be best to kill her. So, you know, she wouldn't get in the way. And I am a ninja…so, it's not really that different from what I usually do. The only real difference would be that it was for personal reasons this time…"

Naruto stared at Hinata in disbelief. "Hinata…that, that's just crazy," he said, and the spooky psycho-smile look on Hinata's face became a hurt wince. Obi-Wan, however, nodded in agreement. "Just because I'm a main character and likely to have a main female character as a love interest doesn't mean you need to kill her off."

Obi-Wan was still nodding his head. He wasn't sure about the "main character" part, but he was wholeheartedly in support of his apprentice when it came to the "not needing to kill her off" part.

"I mean, didn't you realize that I get to have a harem?" Naruto asked incredulously.

Hinata shook her head shyly.

Obi-Wan continued nodding for a second before—"What?! What do you mean, 'you get to have a harem'?"

"Yep, as the hero of the story, all rules of standard decency and morality don't apply to me. I could go and wipe out our entire home village in some kind of terrible revenge in gruesome and demented ways and everyone would totally think I was completely justified. The readers, aside from a few who'll say I'm going OOC, will all say the villagers got what they had coming. Not that I'll do that. Not that kind of story. But I can have multiple girlfriends, and they'll all be completely understanding about the whole multiple girls thing, work things out between themselves and not only not make me lift a finger to make it all happen, but they'll even force me into it if I pretend I want to resist. And if it's not already completely legal for me to marry any or all of them, it will be by the time the story is done." Naruto nodded his head sagely, one finger in the air as he spoke, as if he were explaining something profound.

Hinata and Obi-Wan stood there in total shock.

"Now look here, my very young and misguided apprentice," Obi-Wan Kenobi began. "I don't know where you get these insanely outlandish ideas, but it's completely ridiculous. Even if this young woman did have feelings for you there's no way that—"

"So, does that mean we get to have a three-way and orgies later on in the story, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked hopefully, tapping her fingers together.

Obi-Wan's jaw dropped halfway down his chest.

Naruto frowned, looked up at the top of the story header, and shook his head. "Nah, I don't think so. This is not even rated M and there's no lemon warning."

Hinata began to pout.

"But it can all happen off-screen," Naruto said, flashing Hinata his patented Foxy Grin™.

Obi-Wan shook his head and muttered to himself. "I've got to talk to this boy about things once this is all over. He's got completely wrong ideas about pretty much everything." Then he looked over at the strange ninja girl who sat their staring adoringly at his apprentice and shook his head again. "Or maybe I should get Naruto to explain the whole concept of being the 'main character' to me."

"Oh, hey, Hinata-chan," Naruto said, suddenly excited. "If you're not going to try and kill Padmé anymore, can you tell us who hired you to kill her and where they are located?"

"Oh, of course!" Hinata exclaimed a wide smile forming on her face, her eyes unconsciously activating her _byakugan_ as she was so glad she was back in Naruto's good graces. "The person who hired me was—"

_**PFFFT!**_

The sound of a dart fired from a couple thousand meters away tore through the air.

"Oh my gods of the Outer Rim!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, eyes wide. "The real assassin just killed her!" He shook his fist in the air angrily. "You bastards!" He paused for a moment, wondering where that had come from, then shrugged his shoulders. Obi-Wan turned to look up to a building far above them as the shooter flew away into the traffic above, using a jetpack, making tracking him impossible. Which was sort of good, since otherwise it would spoil the rest of the plot.

Naruto rolled his eyes at Obi-Wan's naiveté. He just pointed to the girl his master had assumed dead. Held in Hinata's hand was the dart. She was smiling and hugging the Jedi/ninja.

"But…how?" Obi-Wan looked back in complete shock. While a Jedi's precognitive abilities could forewarn them about such an attack, they couldn't just catch a dart fired from a high-powered weapon barehanded like that! Then Obi-Wan looked back and noticed who his two companions were. Nobody could do something like that unless…

"Oh. Ninja?"

"Close. Hyuuga clan ninja," Naruto corrected with a smirk.

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

Back in the Jedi Temple's galactic map room, Obi-Wan was trying to find out how to get to the planet of Kamino while Padmé, Naruto, and Hinata were discussing flavors of ramen.

"If the planet is not listed in our database," a homely librarian-esque woman was saying to Obi-Wan Kenobi in a huff, "then that planet does not exist!" Obi-Wan looked back to his apprentice and the two women who seemed to be flirting with him. He sighed.

"…and according to Ramen-hater sensei," Naruto was saying, "miso flavor helps the hyperdrive get 3 more parsecs per gigajoule than pork or beef flavor. But I still prefer the barbecue pork flavor myself. Of course, the stuff you get out here is NOTHING like Ichiraku's back home."

"Naruto," Obiwan said, gesturing to the women hanging on his arms. "I think you are forgetting your lessons about Jedi and attachments. We are expressly forbidden to have attachments to things and people. Even family. We cannot allow such things to cloud our judgment."

Naruto nodded his head. "Yeah, I guess you're right, sensei," Naruto said sheepishly. Obi-Wan let out a sigh of relief, glad his apprentice would not argue about this very important topic. "I did forget those lessons. I probably wasn't paying attention to what you were saying. What were they about again?"

Obi-Wan pounded his own forehead with his fist.

"Look, Master Jedi," Padmé interjected smoothly, "time is of the essence on this mission. I don't think we really have time for lectures on Jedi philosophy now. We need to go after the assassin and I need to be protected while we wait for the Senate to vote on the Military Creation Act."

Obi-Wan nodded his agreement. "But it seems we've hit a dead end. There's no record of the planet Kamino that Miss Hinata says her former client, this Jango Fett, had come from." Obi-Wan walked around, looking at the projection of the region of space near the Outer Rim where the planet was supposed to be located. "Perhaps I should consult Yoda. He may have some idea of how a planet can disappear from the archives."

Suddenly, a small flag appeared in the middle of space where the planet out to have been. Obi-Wan looked over in surprise at Padmé, who stood at the computer terminal. As a Republic senator, she could access the archive, but the fact that she pinpointed a particular location where the gravitational pull of nearby stars seemed to indicate that there would be a planet was surprising.

"How did you know it would be there?" Obi-Wan asked the senator.

"Easy," she answered with a smile. "I just used GoogleMaps. Scanned the QR code for the dart and got an address. Do you want flying directions?"

"Alright," Obi-Wan agreed, "I'll visit the planet and track down the bounty hunter. Naruto, you stay with Padmé and make sure she is safe."

"Sure!" Naruto grinned.

"When I get back, we're going to have a long talk about the Jedi code and keeping free of attachments, young padawan," Obi-Wan grumbled. "Now I want you to promise me that you will not develop any romantic interest in either of these two women while I am gone. You will stay with them, but there will be no kissing, no flirting, and absolutely no forming of important precious people bonds! Do you promise?"

Naruto nodded his head. "Sure thing, Sensei. As long as you promise not to get into a crazy chase with a bounty hunter and his Mini-me clone through an asteroid field, end up on a Trade Federation controlled planet and get yourself captured by a Sith Lord requiring me to come rescue you."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "That's a deal," he said. "Now remember, stay with the girls, but NO cheesy flirting and lame romance lines while I'm gone."

"Yeah, and don't get captured by a Sith Lord," Naruto retorted.

Obi-Wan took off from Coruscant and headed off towards the cloning planet of Kamino without worry. While some of Naruto's attitudes and behavior were troublesome to say the least, he had faith in his apprentice. He could trust him to keep his word, no matter what. All he had to do was avoid an asteroid field and getting captured by a Sith Lord and he could rest easy.

Naruto looked over to Padmé. "What a sucker. He'll be chasing people through asteroid fields and getting captured in minutes," he said with a grin. "Let's go flirt on your home world until it's time to go rescue him."


	6. EP2: Attack of the Shadow Clones! Pt3

**Episode II: Attack of the Shadow Clones (Part 3)**

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "That's a deal," he said. "Now remember, stay with the girls, but NO cheesy flirting and lame romance lines while I'm gone."

"Yeah, and don't get captured by a Sith Lord," Naruto retorted.

Obi-Wan took off from Coruscant and headed off towards the cloning planet of Kamino without worry. While some of Naruto's attitudes and behavior were troublesome to say the least, he had faith in his apprentice. He could trust him to keep his word, no matter what. All he had to do was avoid an asteroid field and getting captured by a Sith Lord and he could rest easy.

Naruto looked over to Padmé. "What a sucker. He'll be chasing people through asteroid fields and getting captured in minutes," he said with a grin. "Let's go flirt on your home world until it's time to go rescue him."

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

Hinata and Padmé had worked out an agreement with Naruto concerning participation in his harem. They had decided on a semi-democratic process where Naruto or any current harem member could nominate any adult woman (except for background characters or cameos) to join, but acceptance required a two-third majority vote and Naruto's approval. This was only fair as he would be the one having to mate with them and he was, after all, the titular character. This democratic selection process greatly appealed to Senator Amidala's view of politics as well as Hinata's dislike of her clan's own, dictatorial rulership process.

At first, Padmé was a bit unsure of the whole harem thing herself, but she was really intrigued when Hinata had mentioned the eventual legality of it when she was originally broaching the subject of a harem to her. "So, you're sure that in the end it will all be legal and above-board for us to have a romantic relationship? Or even more than one? Even though you are a Jedi and I'm a senator?"

"Oh, sure," Naruto waved the concern away. "It's bound to work out. I mean, I might have to end up overthrowing the entire Jedi Council and force the Republic Senate to see things my way, but it will all work out. Believe it!"

After that Padmé had no problem making her decision. While she still held a bit of a torch for Emokin…er…Anakin, there was no way he would ever be able to pursue the relationship openly, and that would just leave them prone to all sorts of terrible consequences. Heck, he might even one day end up turning to the Dark Side over it all, slaughter all the Jedi, overthrow the democratic Republic, and kill her in a fit of pique….Nah. No way something that crazy could happen. But still, it would just be too unworkable to try to keep it secret if she chose Anakin.

Now the three sat together out in tall grass fields in the middle of the Naboo countryside, far from prying eyes. Rather than stay on the capital planet, they had decided to send Jar-Jar Binks in her place to represent the Naboo.

"I mean, afterall," Naruto had argued, "what's the worst that could happen?"

So now they were alone together, far away from any other watching eyes, aside from a few overly interested bovine creatures. "Um, Naruto-kun," Hinata asked in her meek, high pitched voice, "what is it like being a Jedi? Is it really different from being a ninja?"

Naruto paused thoughtfully. "Hmm. Well, I guess it's mostly the same, except as a Jedi I'm supposed to kill people a little less than as a ninja. And, well, the Force is sort of different than chakra."

Hinata nodded. "Yes, I could see that Jedi Master Obiwan's chakra coils were not very well developed. It seems he's been improving lately, but he hasn't used them much."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "I guess the Force is more like my sage mode. All the energy comes from around us, not from within, like using chakra. The big difference, I think, is that with sage mode I pull the surrounding spiritual energy into me and sort of make it my own, but with the Force you sort of just tell the energy what you want to do and how you want it to be done and it sort of agrees."

"Oh, wow, that is so amazing," Hinata said with hearts in her eyes.

"And the funny thing is, that the Force sometimes talks back to you and guides you on what you should do."

Padmé leaned over towards Naruto, "And what is the Force telling you to do right now?" she asked.

"Um," he thought about it, starting to meditate on his feelings when he suddenly felt Padmé wrap her arms around him and kiss him deeply on his mouth. With a casual pull of the Force, Hinata was brought over to him as well, and when he finished his kiss with Padmé, he found another mouth sliding open for him.

"Wow, I guess Obiwan Sensei is right about going with your feelings! The Force really does give great advice!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Ahem," an embarrassed sound came from behind them. The pair turned around to see Qui-Gon Jinn and Anakin Skywalker standing there. "I'm not sure that what you were feeling was the Force telling you to act on your feelings or not. Might be something a little less mystical."

"Who knows?" Naruto said sheepishly. "Whatever is responsible, it gives really good advice."

Qui-Gon looked somewhat troubled by Naruto's behavior. "Naruto, you are aware that the Jedi Council forbids romantic relationships between Jedi and others, don't you? If you continue this relationship you will be removed from the Jedi Order."

"NANI?!" Naruto exclaimed. "But how do we get baby Jedi then? If we Jedi are supposed to have high amounts of those midget chloroforms as our bloodline, shouldn't they be encouraging us to have more babies?"

"You mean midi-chlorians, dope," Anakin piped in with a Sasuke-like smirk.

"Actually, Naruto," Qui-Gon explained, "it's partly that we don't want thousands of super-powered babies running around able to control the universe that Jedi are discouraged from marriage. Take Anakin, here. If he were to turn evil, that would be incredibly bad. The more of us there are with his potential for connection with the Force the bigger the chance one of them will turn against us and cause massive destruction." Qui-Gon pulled out an Oreo cookie.

"Oh no, not the cookie explanation again," Anakin said with a roll of his eyes.

"You see, Naruto, the Force is like an Oreo cookie," he said as he took off one of the cookie ends, smoothly leaving only some cream and one cookie. "There's the white, delicious cream center and the hard, and crunchy cookie. As Jedi, we are supposed to remove ourselves from the Dark Side." He took another cookie and started pulling off the cookie, only for it to break off, held too tightly by the cream. "But you see, when there is attachment, we cannot let go of the Dark Side completely. And if we lose what we are attached to, there is anger, which can leave to hatred and suffering," he concluded, holding up the broken piece of cookie. "A Jedi consumed by the Dark Side is a terrible threat to everyone."

"So, you're saying that Jedi can't love or care for people because if they lose them they will get mad? And if they get mad they'll turn evil and start killing other people?" Naruto asked, his eyes turning big and soulful.

"Essentially, yes," Obi-Wan said.

Tears started pouring down his cheeks. "Well, if that's what the Jedi code is, then I'm going to change it!" Naruto proclaimed, the sad look replaced by fierce determination that shone through the blueness of his eyes. "I'll make my own Jedi code!"

Shock and surprise was on everyone's face, other than Hinata, who nodded.

He stood up and raised his hand into the air. "I'll never give up and never go back on….wait, hold on, that's my Ninja Way," Naruto paused mid-sentence, letting his arm fall back down. "I need something new for my Jedi code." He stopped and scratched his head for a moment. "How about: All for one and One for All!"

Qui-Gon, Hinata, Padmé, and Anakin all shook their heads.

"Ask not what the Force can do for you, but what…" Four shakes of their head.

"When the going gets tough, the Jedi get going!" There were several groans.

"I'm sexy and I know it! Sorry for Party Rocking!" Hinata and Padmé gave each other looks, but in the end shook their heads as well.

"How about this: I'll make bonds with precious people and protect them with my life! And I'll never give in to the Dark Side! The Dark Side will give in to me first!"

There was a round of applause. Naruto's Jedi-do had been created.

Anakin looked over at Naruto in gratitude, "What you said really inspired me, Naruto. I was thinking of turning to the Dark Side after seeing you make out with Padmé out of jealousy, but now I know I can resist that urge and find a girl my own age."

"Glad I could help," Naruto said with a smile.

Then young Anakin Skywalker frowned. "Well, then, if I'm going to make that my Jedi code as well, then I think I should go do something about this terrible nightmare I've been having about my mother being captured and tortured by Sand People."

"Those Suna bastards!" Naruto yelled passionately. "We'll go right now and I'll bet once the Kazekage finds out what they've been doing they'll be sorry!"

"Um, I don't know what a Kazekage is, or anything about 'Suna'. It's back on Tatooine, my home planet," Anakin explained.

"Oh," Naruto shrugged. "Well that's good then. So, they're not Sand ninja, just Sand People? Shouldn't be much of a difficult mission."

Padmé looked at Qui-Gon Jinn thoughtfully. "Aren't you going to try and change their minds?"

"What, you mean with Jedi Mind Manipulation?" he asked. "That might work on Naruto, he really does suck at that sort of thing. But Anakin would never be tricked by it."

"Hey!" Naruto shouted.

"Besides," Qui-Gon said, "I think half the reason the Jedi Council is so cranky about things is because they have no love life. Naruto's Jedi code sounds like a good thing to me." Qui-Gon turned to Anakin and Naruto, "So, you two feel free to go off and save Anakin's mother. I'll stay here with the senator and make sure your other harem member doesn't change her mind and decide to assassinate her."

"Oh, yeah," Naruto said, smiling back at them. "I'll have to remember for us to have a vote on a rule against killing any other member of the harem. At least, not without a 2/3 majority vote."

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

_**Author's Notes:**_ As this part was going to end up longer than the previous ones, I've decided to split this into a smaller section (more in keeping with the length of parts of episode 1). My original plan was to make each episode have 3 parts, but with this update I may deviate from that plan just a little.


	7. EP2: Attack of the Shadow Clones! Pt4

**Episode II: Attack of the Shadow Clones (Part 4)**

"Besides," Qui-Gon said, "I think half the reason the Jedi Council is so cranky about things is because they have no love life. Naruto's Jedi code sounds like a good thing to me." Qui-Gon turned to Anakin and Naruto, "So, you two feel free to go off and save Anakin's mother. I'll stay here with the senator and make sure your other harem member doesn't change her mind and decide to assassinate her."

"Oh, yeah," Naruto said, smiling back at them. "I'll have to remember for us to have a vote on a rule against killing any other member of the harem. At least, not without a 2/3 majority vote."

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

The Tusken Raiders were all slaughtered. Every man, woman, and child.

It was like that when they got there. Honest!

"What's that guy dressed up like a geisha doing here?" Anakin asked when they reached the destroyed Sand People village and noticed a lone figure standing in the center of it, staring up at the sky.

"That's Sasuke Uchiha," Naruto identified with a bit of surprise. Sasuke was wearing the lavender, open-fronted shirt with a blue cloth at his waist tied together with a purple rope belt Naruto had seen him wear as a disciple of Orochimaru. He did sort of look like a geisha.

"Naruto." The one-word acknowledgment of the blond's presence from Sasuke was as cold as the man who spoke the word.

"Uh, who is this Sasuke guy? And did he slaughter these Sand People?" Anakin asked, his hand going to the lightsaber at his belt when he felt the cold chill of darkness emanating from the ninja, who had long ago given over his life to vengeance.

"He's my best friend," Naruto said seriously, before qualifying the remark and expounding on the nature of the relationship, "harem not included. He is also my eternal rival, my nemesis, and a psychotic jerk," Naruto explained.

"I never expected you to be coming after me to take me back to Konoha this far out into the galaxy," Sasuke said wearily. "But I should have known you just couldn't leave me be."

"Um, actually, Sasuke, I'm, er…not here for you."

"What?" Disbelief was clear in the Uchiha's voice.

"Yeah, um, I'm really out here to help Anakin," Naruto gestured towards the grey-clad Jedi. "We're looking for his mother. She was captured by these Sand people guys, who are totally **not** ninja and not from Suna."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I know that, loser. Only an idiot like you would think Sand People from another planet are somehow connected to the Hidden Village of the Sand."

"So, um, why are you here, then?" Naruto asked.

"I wanted to test my abilities. So, just like my brother Itachi, I decided to slaughter an entire clan of people. This group was the one I chose," he said, standing amid the shredded bodies without a shred of emotion showing.

"O—kay,"Anakin said, glancing over at his fellow _padawan_ for support. "Did you come across a human woman while you were… 'testing your abilities'?"

Sasuke eyed Anakin coldly. "Yes. She was being held by them as a captive."

When Sasuke failed to elaborate, Anakin felt a spike of anger. "You didn't…do anything to her, did you?" Anakin's eyes glinted angrily.

Sasuke stood there, regarding Anakin critically. After a moment, he turned away and began walking in the opposite direction, as if dealing with this wasn't worth his time. "No, I didn't 'do anything' to her, as you put it. I was here to slaughter one clan. She wasn't part of it. So, I untied her and left her at the other end of the camp to recover. She was ill-treated, but her condition was not critical."

Relief flooded Anakin.

A smile found its way onto Naruto's mouth. "Sauske—" he started to say.

"Don't read too much into this, dope," Sasuke replied, continuing to walk away. "I saved her on a whim. Nothing more. I'm done here." And with that, he disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Anakin stared at the spot where the crazy ninja had disappeared from. "How did he do that?" he asked incredulously. "And why do I get the feeling that this is going to foreshadow something big?"

"Oh, well," Naruto said putting his hands behind his head and adopting a bragging tone, "we ninja have awesome techniques like that. That one's called the 'body flicker' and we use nearby material to mask our movements."

"Yeah," Anakin said, still surprised, "I figured that. But…there's not a single tree on this planet!"

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

It was a short trip back to the two Jedi's ship once they located Shmi, Anakin's mother. After a quick visit to Lars, the man who had married his mother while he was out being a Jedi, Shmi was well on her way to recovery.

"I'm glad we got to her before something bad happened. And, as creepy as your best friend is, Naruto, I'm really glad he had saved her." Anakin looked at his mom, now lying comfortably in bed and being cared for, and a burden he had felt pressing down on him since he had his first vision of her was lifted from his heart. "I don't know what I would have done if I had found her hurt…or even dead."

"You'd of turned to the Dark Side," Naruto said simply.

"What?! No!" Anakin protested. "I would never turn to the Dark Side. That…that would be bad!"

Naruto chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I mean, it would be really unlikely for you to turn to the Dark Side now, right? I mean, the author wouldn't find some way to make you turn to hatred and revenge anyway, would he?"

Anakin shuddered. "I sure hope not."

Before the two could continue their conversation, R2D2 beeped and whirred, trying to get some attention for the first time in the story. As soon as the pair of Jedi turned to the mechanical midget, it started projecting a transmission from Naruto's Jedi Master.

"Naruto! I've tracked the bounty hunter, Jango Fett from the planet of Kamino through an asteroid field to a large Trade Federation controlled outpost on Geonosis. It seems that Count Dooku has indeed turned to the Dark Side and is leading the Separatist movement. Someone has contracted with the Kaminoans to create an army of clones, apparently under the authority of the Jedi Council! Naruto, you must re-transmit this to the Council and…hold on…oh son of a—you've been flirting with this girls, haven't—"

That last bit was said as Obi-Wan attempted to fend off some kind of attack, and then the transmission went silent.

"Should we re-transmit the message, or just go and save him on our own first?" Naruto asked Anakin.

Anakin thought for a moment, "Well, I think we had best re-transmit the message. Otherwise we'll get in trouble whether we rescue him or not."

"Yeah," Naruto said with a frown, "but if we call for help before we go to save them, our chances of getting captured during the rescue and have everyone else show up just as we're in an embarrassing position go up by like a million percent."

* * *

_Naruto: Attack of the Clones!_

* * *

"I told you we shouldn't have sent that transmission," Naruto grumbled as the flying insect-like creature herded him and Anakin together towards a large opening in the dank environment of the munitions factory on Geonosis.

"If we hadn't then there wouldn't be any chance of a rescue at all," Anakin reasoned.

"If we had done it my way," Naruto protested, "there wouldn't have been any sort of set up in the plot for us to need to be rescued. We could have skipped the whole getting surrounded and giving ourselves up part and gone straight to the awesome butt-kicking part, and we would be the rescuers instead of ending up as the rescuees. And how in the world did you manage to get both your lightsaber destroyed in the machinery, and mine after I threw it to you?"

"Must be my destiny," Anakin muttered.

They were soon reunited with Obi-Wan Kenobi, also being herded towards the large opening.

"Well, Naruto, I see that at least you are not flirting with the senator or the assassin. You managed to obey my orders at least that much. But, why aren't you with them now? I did order you to stay with and protect them."

"Sorry, Obi-Wan Sensei, but we sort of had a family emergency," Naruto explained. "Old Pony-Tails Sensei told us to go ahead and take care of it."

"And then we came to rescue you," Anakin added.

Obi-Wan looked at the two of them shackled together right along with him and then he delivered probably the best line from all three of the Star Wars prequels with scathing sarcasm. "Good job."

The three were shackled up to three large pillars in the middle of a massive stadium filled with flying Geonosians. Then the voice of Count Dooku boomed out into the stadium, offering the three of them a chance to save themselves in surrender. He stood there with the leader of the Geonosians, Nute Gunray of the Trade Federation, and Jango Fett standing by as bodyguard. The event did not seem at all auspicious for the captured Jedi.

"Well, at least you won't be tempted by the senator and the assassin," Obi-Wan sighed, looking at the bright side of the situation. "Even if I did manage to get caught by a Sith Lord.

"Actually, Master Kenobi," Anakin interjected, "Naruto has formed a harem with them."

"What?!" Obi-Wan shouted loudly enough for even his pontificating captor to hear. "That-that's completely against the Jedi code! While a Jedi doesn't have to be celibate, he does have to refrain from attachments, and a harem counts as one massive attachment! I thought I said we were going to have a long talk about this after you resc—I mean after we got back!"

Anakin spoke up in Naruto's defense. "Well, Naruto decided to make his own Jedi code. And…well, it's kind of pretty good. 'Protect my precious people with my life and never give in to the Dark Side. Make the dark side give into me.' Even Master Qui-Gon approved of it."

Obi-Wan sighed. "He would."

While the deep voice of their Sith Lord captor continued to speak at length and Anakin was educating his Jedi teacher about his activities while he was off getting himself captured, Naruto closed his eyes and relaxed his body. This was just too much like the Ninja Academy not to ignore it.

"Uh, Naruto," Anakin was saying. "I think you should open your eyes. We have a problem."

Anakin was, of course, referring to the three large, vicious looking beasts that were being led into the stadium to kill them. One was an _acklay_, a large, green creature with six legs, each ending with sharp claws. The second was a _nexu_, a medium sized feline creature with a whip-like tail whose gaping mouth was full of teeth. The last creature brought in to kill them was a _reek_, a large beast similar to a rhinoceros, but with a pair of large spikes coming from its jaw in addition to the massive horn on tip of its head.

And that third one was precisely the creature charging all one ton of its mass directly towards Naruto to impale him, while the blond haired Ramen lover remained leaning against the pillar he was chained to as if he were completely oblivious to everything around him.

At the very last second, the Jedi/ninja/_jinchuriki_ opened his eyes. His _yellow _eyes that had a black horizontal slit in them. Make that Jedi/ninja/_jinchuriki_/**sage**.

Effortlessly, Naruto snapped the manacles chaining him to the post and brought his hands around to catch the charging creature by its lowered horn. The powerful, armored beast came to a completely dead stop, Naruto not even budging an inch. And then Naruto threw the creature bodily out of the stadium as if he were tossing a basketball underhanded.

The cheers and jeers of the jubilant crowd awaiting blood and death suddenly grew hushed. Anakin and Obi-Wan stared at Naruto with their mouths agape. And then Obi-Wan looked into Naruto's eyes.

"Did…Did you just become…a Sith?" he said as he stared at the yellow yes.

"What?" Naruto asked, incredulously.

"Your…your eyes. They've turned yellow. And…and you threw a bloody massive creature out of a stadium!" Obi-Wan's confusion was understandable. The yellow eyes and coloration around his eyelids did appear somewhat similar to what a Sith's body underwent under the influence of the Dark Side of the Force.

"Did you hear what Anakin said about my Jedi Code?" Naruto demanded. "I will never give into the Dark Side! Believe it!" Naruto gave the two of them the 'good guy pose', though without the flashing teeth. "This is my sage mode. I have to stay still and meditate to enter into it, but when I do, I turn into an awesome toad sage!"

"No wonder I've never seen that before, they have to chain you down to keep you still," Obi-Wan remarked.

"Be careful, Naruto," Anakin cautioned. "You're strong, but don't be overconfident. Those creatures are still large and dangerous."

"What, those things?" Naruto said confidently, pointing in the direction of the two creatures while looking back at Anakin and Obi-Wan. "Those things aren't even the size of what we have in the Forest of Death back home. I threw a giant rhino probably ten times that size even further when I was back in Konoha. Don't worry about these little things, they're not any kind of a threat—"

Exactly the instant Naruto said those words, the mouth of the _nexu _closed around Naruto's extended arm with a vicious snapping sound.

Naruto turned back from looking at his fellow Jedi and gave the creature an annoyed glare for its temerity to bite him at just an ironic moment like that. Then he punched it with his other hand, sending it to fly across the arena to land with a yelp and a whimper. The creature's teeth hadn't even scratched his chakra-enhanced skin. Naruto turned back to the others, moving over to his teacher so quickly that it appeared to spectators in the stadium that he had teleported. With a casual yank from the Jedi/sage, the manacles were torn off Obi-Wan. An instant later, Naruto freed Anakin the same way.

The large, six-legged _acklay_ took one look at what had just happened and made a very wise decision for a non-sentient creature. It ran the other way, ignoring the shocking stings of the handlers that had been trying to herd it towards its intended victims. The creature would take the stings, but it would not go up against such a clearly deadly threat. It was a beast, but it wasn't stupid.

"They—they can't do that!" Nute Gunray of the Trade Federation complained to Count Dooku. "Stop them! Shoot them or something!"

Dooku had seen the raw power of the display by the captive, and he was quite impressed. For a moment, he wondered if the battle droids he had just called in would be enough to stop the strange, orange-cloaked Jedi.

"Patience, Viceroy. They will die," the silver-haired Sith Lord said in dulcet tones. To accentuate his point, several _droideka_ rolled onto the field, force fields in place, the droids forming a circle around the three Jedi still at the pillars. Naruto's sage mode could withstand powerful physical attacks, but how would it do against blaster fire?

Before the crowd could find out, a flashing violet lightsaber surprised all those present, especially those in the VIP box, the blade sliding beneath the chin of Jango Fett. "Master Windu," Dooku said as he turned around to face his former comrade. "How pleasant of you to join us.

"This party is over," Master Jedi Mace Windu proclaimed. All around the stadium, dozens of Jedi ignited their lightsabers. The Geonosians in the crowds scattered in all directions. A few nameless minor character Jedi tossed spare lightsabers to Naruto, Anakin, and Obi-Wan.

"Brave," Dooku said silkily, "but ultimately foolish," he stated haughtily. "You are impossibly outnumbered."

And with that, thousands of battle droids poured into the arena, firing on all the Jedi at once, and forcing Windu to leap away from Dooku to join the other Jedi.

Naruto, his senses enhanced many times over by his sage mode, caught the remark by the Sith Lord. "OUTNUMBERED?" he yelled. "DON'T EVERY UNDERSTIMATE ME! I'LL SHOW YOU OUTNUMBERED! _**TAJUU KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!**"_

The entire stadium filled from top to bottom with Naruto shadow clones, each of them igniting their own lightsaber, foxy grins on their faces.

Dooku's eyes went wide. Time to run.

It was a slaughter. It took less than a second for the thousands of Naruto clones to rip through the droid forces. They began pouring out of the stadium, tearing up the Trade Federation forces as they went. They repelled and reflected blaster fire, storming forwards at ninja speeds.

"Hey, guys, want to see what a REAL big creature looks like?" the original Naruto said with a smirk to his completely shocked Jedi companions who had started to join the assault on the Trade Federation positions just outside of the arena in which they had been being held. He bit his thumb and pressed it down to the ground. "Watch this: _Kuchiyose no Jutsu!_"

A gigantic toad, easily the size of many of the Trade Federation ships still on the ground, appeared in a massive puff of smoke. The toad was a dull rust red color, but with bright red markings the same color as the markings around Naruto's eyes while in sage mode marking around the features of the giant chief toad's facial features. The giant boss toad wore a pale, dark blue vest and carried a _dosu_ blade on his hip.

"Guys, meet the Boss Toad, Gamabunta!" Naruto exclaimed. "Hey, Boss, could you help us out here?"

The boss summon gave his gruff assent before wreaking absolute havoc on the Trade Federation ships and supplies still on the grounds. He leapt from area to area, his massive size and blade making short work of anything that didn't escape fast enough. And those ships that were still blasting off were blasted with massive globs of toad oil.

That was about the time Yoda appeared on a military craft with the first batch of clones from Kamino. The diminutive Jedi Master looked at the army of Naruto clones running roughshod over the Trade Federation droids and ships, then looked back at the clones.

The Jedi Master assessed the situation and was quite pleased to remark to the Kamino clones, "Hmm, needed, your services will not be."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Some dialog is taking directly from "Attack of the Clones". I also realize that Dooku did not give a great big speech before the beasts were called in to execute them, but I thought it was more fun to have the bad guy monologuing while Naruto entered sage mode.


End file.
